There are times when I realize that I'm only masquerading as a 'man of action', a hard-charging businessman. This 'man of action' much prefers contemplation, study, writing, and endless, almost aimless wandering as a flaneur. Yet, and here's the self-referential rub, such a life is in many ways bad for me.
I suffer from acidie, you see, classical sloth. Without the job, I would have too many extended periods of torpor, during which I don't so much practice Christian contemplation as peer into the abyss of nothingness into which I can fall at any moment. I quite like that abyss, you see, there are secrets in that abyss that no man has yet to hear, and that makes it for a man like me supremely dangerous. Having the job does not free me from this temptation, but it limits the times when I can completely slide into a fascination with the abyss.
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