Work has slowed to the point that I can often get home before nine in the evening. That doesn't mean the season is officially over - I signed a new customer last night, and have several contracts to close before the end of November. Still, the end is near, my rest is at hand.
Didn't have the best year; at least, I didn't have the year I wanted. Around the middle of the summer, I took several blows that nearly undid me, from stunning denials by insurance adjusters, to customers who backed out of agreements without so much as pretending to have a conscience. It all brought your humble narrator quite low, and had me noodling over quitting yet again. Surely, surely, my instinct told me, there must be something better.
I didn't quit. In fact, after losing so many battles in the middle of the season; after getting beat to hell; after falling to the bottom third of sales reps company wide; after all that, I say, it has all turned out all right somehow...somehow, again let me say, somehow, because don't know how or why it has all worked out all right. I just know it has. I've come from near the bottom to right around fourth place, with third in view. Now, I wanted to be number one my friends, but no, I apparently needed humility. Well, I don't know if I feel humble - in fact, I doubt that has anything to do with humility. I do know that I've been brought low, and then allowed to get back up.
In short, this is nothing new at all, nothing spectacular. Grace inscrutable and incalculable saved me once again from disaster. And that, dear reader, is nothing new either - so it is with all of you, with all that is but would cease to be without that act of being that is at once gratuitous and expressive of the nature of God as one who diffuses goodness, beauty and truth in the very act of making and sustaining all that is seen and unseen.
For me, the least important person in the whole story, all this is a gift - I get to earn a living, working honestly for my customers. There's nothing spectacular, nothing particularly interesting about it. What's more, it could be taken away at any moment. As I consider the careening stupidity of leaders elected and otherwise, which stupidity pales compared to my own, I realize more and more how powerless I am over anything out there. All I can do is show up every day and do my job. The wider world will have to take care of itself...or, rather, it is taken care of, so I needn't worry about it.
Peace out.
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