I've never been to Key West before. Yes, I even grew up in Florida. So, I always wanted to see it. That's why it hurts me to say the horrible truth.
Key West blows.
There's nothing to be done. The food is bad to mediocre, the natives are rude, us tourists are stupid, the 'beaches' are boring, the Gulf's too placid, and, well, the place is kind of a...it's kind of a dump.
I mean, I stood there, at the edge of the world, and it was so *desolate* and *bland* that it filled me with a deep, existential sadness.
Maybe that's the attraction - I did run into a surprising number of tourists with French accents. Whatever - I'm from Columbus, Ohio. If I want desolation all I need do is drive down Hamilton in the snow.
Where was I?
O yes. Now I've seen Key West, and I want to flee, to head for civilization. Still, it has been an adventure, and that's what I was after in the first place.
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